Stake Conference 6/2012

All I can say is.....AMAZING!  The last 3 days have been the most touching, enlightening, testimony building days ever.  For the last month and a half we have known that for our stake conference in June, Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles would be visiting us.  First off, he's one of my favorites to listen to in General Conference.  His Tender Mercies talk and Light talk are ones that I remember daily.  So how is it to have a member of the Twelve Apostles visiting with us so intimately?  All I can say is it was wonderful.  We had a change of Stake Presidency and James and I were lucky enough to have quite a few moments of one on one time with Elder Bednar.   I hope my kids will remember the moments he shook their hands, and looked them in the eye saying each one of their names.  I wish Jane could remember having him coo over her, and tell that if she came to his house he'd feed her ice cream.  The hug he gave James. Wow!  You know in the scriptures there are so many times that the chapter is ended with the writer making a statement how words can't be written to explain what was happening, and I feel like this weekend was like that for me.  So many times as I would try to express myself to James, I'd just cry.  Words couldn't quite relate what I was feeling in my heart, and what I really wanted to express.  It just felt like there were "other" words somewhere in my mind that just couldn't come out.  They weren't words that I speak, but words I feel.

We were taught this weekend.  The words spoken weren't just ones that made me feel like he was giving a great talk.  It wasn't a talk at all.  Pure instruction.  I felt like I was a child learning.  It was like that moment when you could first sound out letters and realize that when you put them together you could read!  I was learning in a way that only the spirit can teach you.  At points I felt like my heart was going to explode.  I didn't want it to end.  Two hour meetings flew by, and there were quite a few.  We had a special meeting Sunday morning with an audience of 6.  6 of us were able to be instructed and taught very personally.  Elder Bednar was talking to me, and teaching me how to teach my children.  I'm going to do better.  I was inspired to do and be better.  My testimony of living Prophets and Apostles grew this weekend.  It skyrocketed.  I testify of witnessing miracles this weekend as well.
I experienced something amazing this weekend, but I'm not going to let it end.  I'm going to do.  "Get my feet wet"  in Doing, instead of waiting to be acted upon.  If you want some good reading here's the links to some of Elder Bednar's talks.  I hope they inspire you the way they inspire me.

PS- he liked my Razzleberry Pie too:)

1 Year Old

She's 1 year old today!  Still can't believe she's here with us, but we wouldn't want it any other way!  Love her!

Winners

I love him!  He's my first born.  The first.  The one who gets the worst of everything.   Everything he does is new to us.  The child that has overprotective parents.  The child that sooo much is expected from.   He's handsome, wonderful, kind, soft spoken, smart, funny, talented, and a person I love.  I adore him.  I love his juicy lips.  His giant eyes.  His hair!   He ran for Student Body office at school.  This is the text I got yesterday right after school.  "Didn't win".  That's it.  It's over.  He's defeated, heartbroken, and I cried.  I hate seeing my kids not getting everything their hearts want.  I hate seeing them hurt.  I hate seeing them defeated.  As I was thinking about it this morning at 1:47am to be exact, I wondered if that's how Heavenly Father feels about us?  Does he want us to get everything our hearts desires?  Does he hurt when we hurt?  Does he want to make it easy for us?  I came to this conclusion.  He's a dad.  A father. A parent.  Of course he does.  He only wants us to be happy.  But I have to admit that the times my heart has been broken are the times that I've learned the most in life.   He knows that too.  I've gained greater empathy for others.  I've learned compassion.  I've learned to work a little harder.  And I've tasted a little of the bitter that always makes the sweet taste so delicious.  So to my first born....It's only the beginning, but there is so much sweet to be had.  Just wait:)  XOXOXO

The First Signs of Spring

It may be the first signs, or the first smells of Spring.  Anyway you cut it, it's delicious!

Jane

Jane Juliet Clawson was born Monday June 13, 2011 at 5:07pm.  She weighed in at 7 lbs. 11oz. and 20 inches long.  What a treat she is to have in our home.  Jane decided to come fast.  All of my children have been born fairly quickly.  5 hours from water breaking to delivery on all of them.  But Jane takes the cake.    All of my children have been very easy deliveries by most standards, but the last two babies made me decide that if I ever had another baby I was going to do a home birth.  I won't stand on my soap box, or be an at home advocate, but for James and me this was the right choice.  My last two deliveries were in the hospital, but we decided to go natural, and with nothing extra, medication or IV wise.  We went to the hospital with our minds set, but we felt like we had to fight for everything we wanted.  Hospital just do their thing the way they know best, and for most people that's great, but I hate it.  I hate shots, IV's, and the way epidurals made me feel.  Both of the last two deliveries were unattended.  Jake was born with 2 emergency room doctors running in at the last minute since no other doctor was around, and Seth was the same way.  The doctor made it the last push, and barely caught him.  I remember telling James if we ever had another baby we were doing it at home.  No pressure, no chaos, no needles, no screaming nurses.  Just us and a midwife.

By the time I realized I was actually in labor it was only an hour later that Jane was born.  So if you can do a little math, here's the scenario.  Midwife is in Layton.  I live in Avon.  Time in transit is 1 hour and 5 minutes to be exact.  Therefore Jane was delivered by her dad.  Yep, James delivered Jane and did an amazing job keeping it all together.  I knew that the midwife wouldn't make it in time, but everything was going just the same as with the last two kids.   All was perfect.  I knew exactly where I was time wise by how things were feeling.  I let James know that the midwife wouldn't quite make it, and he set to work.  Birthing tub was filled, hospital pads set out, towels warming in the dryer, and even a call to our local florist.   All went amazingly well.  She came out and immediately started crying.  She pinked right up.  There we sat, the three of us just hugging, and kissing, and being completely happy.  The midwife was on the phone with James as soon as Jane was born letting him know what to do.  He was amazing.  He's told me since, he was nervous, but he did an amazing job and never let it show.  I never felt his stress, and for me this was the most wonderful experience.  As I lay in my own bed minutes after, nursing a perfect little girl I just smiled.  James commented on how happy I looked.  I would do everything exactly the same if I had the chance.

We didn't tell many people because as you know everyone has their own opinion of home births.   Most of it is very negative.  My parent knew and every time I saw or talked to my dad he'd put in his, "Won't you please go to the hospital?"  My mom was encouraging.  She always had an encouraging word.  My grandma was absolutely relieved when I called to tell her all was well.  My sibling think I'm a pioneer who really does live in the wilderness.  I've had my own opinion of some people who deliver at home.  Everyone has a horror story.  I did a lot of research and talked to as many people as I could.  I met with a few different midwifes before picking the one I used.  Heather my midwife has been delivering babies for 15 years, and has delivered more than 800.  She was knowledgeable, smart, confident, but yet when asked about certain scenarios she wasn't overly confident.  I wanted someone who was smart enough to transport if necessary and knew her limits.  I get asked if I had regular prenatal care, and I can say this pregnancy was the best in that respect.  I had more questions answered and one on one communication with my health care provider than ever before.  Also I'm asked if I was given all the tests that a regular OB does.  The answer to that is yes as well.  The state of Utah requires a lot of testing, and even a midwife has to meet the states requirements.  Also I'm RH negative and require a rhogam shot during pregnancy, and after delivery.  Heather is qualified to do all that.  She is qualified to do a lot more as well.  I felt totally at easy with using a midwife.  I also knew what my body does, and how a normal pregnancy should be.

The other day James was talking with a friend and they asked about the baby.  When they heard about the delivery at home his response to James was, "I didn't know you were one of those people."  We aren't one of "those" people.  We're just normal people who wanted to have a baby our way.  We aren't too granola, or natural or holistic.  We don't eat organic, and I love white bread as well as wheat bread.  I shop at Wal-mart as well as Trader Joe's when I get a chance.  But having a baby at home was perfect for us.  The experience of having a baby is empowering for me.  I feel strong.  I feel like I'm a part of the whole process.  Babies are beautiful, and such a gift from heaven.  I am grateful to be a mom to 5 beautiful, perfect kids.

His Sacred Name - An Easter Declaration

Our "Grand" Adventure!

Our room!  Lovely

Christmas time in Utah means an annual trip to the big city to see the lights at Temple Square and eat a carb loaded dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory.  It's tradition, and even though we don't do it every year, when we do go we do the same things every time.  This year was the Grandest of all years yet.  We decided to splurge a bit this year and book a big ole room at the Grand America Hotel.  If you read a little about it, it is the only 5 star hotel in Utah and was built in 2002 for the Winter Olympics in SLC.  It is wonderful!  Beautiful, and actually quite family oriented.  I mean how many 5 star hotels would you feel comfortable walking into in your jeans let alone with your 4 children in tow?  This place was crawling with families with tons of kids, and exuded Christmas time cheer.  Hot chocolate chip cookies at check in, and beautiful decorations everywhere.

James decided to go big all around.  He splurged and decided on getting valet parking.  Self parking was $10 and valet was $15 so James being the big spender went valet.  I will admit I tried to talk him out of it.  I'm cheap sometimes, but I will never second guess my Jimmy again.  We checked in, checked out our room and made reservations for dinner at the Spaghetti Factory and then headed downstairs to get our car again.  We waited for a few minutes when the valet came running up to us with this look on his face.  I thought for sure they had crashed the truck.  It's a beast!  It's huge, and hard to park even when no one is parked on either sides of you.  I know!  I've been known to walk long distances just so I can park in peace with no one around.  But that wasn't the case.  Actually they had lost the keys to our truck, and were in a huge panic.  They apologized profusely, and offered rides where ever we needed to go while they found our keys.  We weren't put out.  We knew if worse came to worse we had an extra set back home in Avon.  We'd just be stuck in lovely Grand America Paradise for a bit longer.

So were were shuttled in the hotel's Lexus everywhere we needed to go.  The Spaghetti Factory, Temple Square, and back.  It was actually really nice.  We didn't have to worry about parking at all.  When we finally got back to the hotel, the valet reported that they had indeed found our keys.  They had fallen out of the valets pocket into another car and that owner had returned them.  They again apologized profusely.  We went up to our room to find a huge tray of chocolate chip cookies, cold milk and chocolate dipped strawberries.  There was also a very nice note attached.  Actually it was an extremely nice note.  In it they apologized for our inconvenience, and told us to enjoy our stay.............FREE OF CHARGE!!  Get out of town!!  That never happens, but it did.  Our Grand America stay was free!  I called down the next morning to thank the manager for their generosity.  The cookies and milk were more than enough, but they went above and beyond for a few hours of missing keys.

So we are never going to stay anywhere but the Grand America.  I think I could stay there forever and eat chocolate chip cookies.  So thank you again to the Grand America.  You made our stay unforgettable, and a birthday weekend magical.  The moral of the story here though my dear friends is, always get valet parking.  It's worth the extra $5 any day:)